Despite the fact that we have an 18-month-old and a 3-year-old, my dear husband still thinks that we could use some new beige carpet. How can I even begin to explain the faulty logic behind that. Let's see, there's: vomit, pee, grape juice, chocolate ice cream, drippy green snot, mud, blood, melted popsicle, stickiness of unknown origin, and oh yeah....poop.
Allow me to set the scene:
It's Wednesday afternoon and Mr. McBooBoos is sitting on the floor in Miss Lala's room when suddenly a foul odor emanates from his general direction. I pick him up to investigate and in the spot where he had just been sitting, there's a toddler-sized circle of runny yellow poop. Now, if you have kids, but have yet to experience the buttocks to neck covered with poop phenomenon, let me guarantee you that one day, your child will be so covered with crap that the only option will be to hold him out in front of you as far as you safely can and quickly deposit him in the tub, clothes and all, and start the hosedown. More than likely, when the clothes start coming off, the poop that had been previously limited to the back area will find its way into the hair and onto the feet, between the toes. Any reservations you might have had before about actually touching the poo-poo are as good as out the window, because you've got a dirty job to do, and you've just got to hope that by the time you're finished, you've somehow avoided baby caca smears on the walls and in your own hair.
So the moral of the story is: no new carpet, and you, too, will be covered in poop one day.
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1 comment:
This is a post to which I can very much relate, even though I only have one child. Not really something I'd ever thought I'd be doing.
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